Memento
by ButterflyGirl89
Summary: Olivia's involved in an explosion whilst working undercover and presumed dead. Then, 3 years later she turns up at the SVU, living the life of her undercover alias. The team work hard to get her to remember who she is, not knowing someone's after her. E/O
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so I know I'm starting new stories when I have others unfinished but these new ones are both already finished and will both be updated when I get reviews telling me more is wanted.**

**Summary: Whilst working undercover as a prostitute Olivia is caught in an explosion, moments before she is due to be relieved of the duty. She's not seen again, presumed dead. However, years later she turns up at the SVU, convinced she is the person who she was portraying whilst undercover.**

**Elliot and the team try to help her to remember, try to get their friend back, try to get her away from the life she has made for herself, little do they know the life isn't ready to give her up. Her pimp wants her back as does someone else, someone who is after both her and her pimp and will stop at nothing to get them.**

**Disclaimer: If you've seen them on SVU then they belong to Dick Wolf, if not then I guess I own them.**

**Memento**

**Prologue**

Elliot was sat in the back on a black unmarked van. He, along with the rest of the SVU and many, many more officers were geared up with weapons and protective clothing, ready to raid a whore house where women and young girls were being forced into prostitution.

The whore house belonged to a Leon Morton. He was a noted pimp and a very wealthy and violent one at that. Never before had the SVU had enough to bring him in or keep him in custody, never had anything to bring him down, evidence was never enough, witnesses had a tendency to vanish into thin air, never to be seen or heard from again, and that's the way it always was.

The team in the van was not alone, dozens more officers waited in other vans, all of them ready, just waiting for the signal. The more they waited the more agitated they all became.

Someone who was not waiting in the vans was Olivia. She had already infiltrated the whore house, undercover as Rachael Cameron, a whore, one of the classier kinds. This was exactly why Leon had made her his and only his. He'd put her second in command over his girls.

She was his and none of the other men or visitors in the whore house was allowed her. Everyone knew it, everyone obeyed it, no one questioned it and that was how Leon swore it would always be.

Back outside the ambush was moving in, slowly. They were ready, and any second now they would get the signal and that would be it. They would pull up right outside the whore house and begin the raid. _They just needed the word. _

_Go_

Finally, with hearts pounding, minds racing and guns ready they heard the word, the signal to move in.

_Go, go, go…_

All parties moved in, pulling the vans up on the lawn outside the house. Elliot was nervous as hell, any minute now he would be arresting Leon, reading him his rights, freeing his sex slaves, getting Olivia back. Freeing her from her undercover gig, that he knew deep down she really didn't want to do, she hated undercover work, ever since Sealview.

As the van he was in the back of pulled to a stop everyone jumped out and all went running towards the whore house, all yelling.

They had barely moved a few feet away from the vans when a huge blast of hot fiery air blew them all back. The sounds were deafening, the air burnt their skin and their throats as they choked and tried to breathe through the thick smoke that bellowed from the house.

Elliot looked up at the house, _what was now left of it._ Slowly and in some pain he pushed himself up to his feet. Immediately he began running towards the burning house, however, another explosion sent him soaring backwards, crashing to the ground.

After a minute he sat up, looking into the orange and red flames, listening to the crackling of the burning house, the roaring of the angry fire. Suddenly the house collapsed, caving in on everything and everyone who was inside_, on Olivia._

That thought suddenly hit him, hard, "Olivia!" he cried into the flames.

**TBC**

**Please review and let me know if you want more.**

**Thanks for reading.**


	2. Chapter 01

**Thanks for the reviews so far. Sorry these first few chapters are short, they will get longer but for now they're short just to get the story moving along quicker.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, unfortunately for me.**

**Chapter 1**

**_Three years later_**

As Elliot ran, moving faster and faster, the bitter cold New York air stabbed at the back of his throat. It was winter, and a particularly harsh one at that. As he continued to run the snow crunched beneath his feat and the fog in front of him blurred his path. He didn't mind, he was used to it. He'd been running every morning and night for the past three years, since they'd lost Olivia in the explosion, images that still flashed constantly through his head.

Even after three years it still hadn't got any easier, he still missed her everyday, he still hated how temps came through the SVU, assigned to her desk, none of them ever stuck. He knew he never made it easy for them but he didn't care. He only wanted one partner.

_Everyday the guilt he lived with got harder and more unbearable. _

- - - - - -

After almost two hours of running, Elliot was back inside his nice warm building. He was quickly trying to get his door open to rush in and answer the ringing phone he could hear. Finally he was in and he answered it just in time.

"Stabler," he answered simply.

"Elliot, its Cragen. I need you to get down to the precinct now." The captain said, not offering an explanation before he hung up, leaving Elliot confused but intrigued.

He quickly changed and then left for the SVU, dersperatley trying to think of what could be so important.

- - - - - -

It was gone midnight by the time Elliot walked into the squad room. He became even more intrigued when he saw Fin and Munch had also been called in. They all still worked there, setting some sort of record for longest serving SVU detectives. _Probably._

Huang and Melinda were there too. Huang still helped out within the SVU department when needed and Melinda was still a medical examiner. A job she feared she'd never be able to give up.

Casey was also there. She still worked for the ADA's office but was currently off on maternity leave. Elliot couldn't help but think she had doubled in size since he had last seen her a little under a month ago, she looked ready to pop, and she was.

"What's all this about?" Elliot asked no one in particular.

"I think it's best if I just show you." Cragen said as he stepped out of his office and into the squad room, the three years after loosing one of his best detectives showing on him.

- - - - - -

They had all followed Cragen into the observation area of interview room 1. None of them were prepared for what or rather who they saw through the glass. All of them were left shocked and confused. All of them were speechless.

"Officers brought her in when she assaulted one of them. They were breaking up a fight she was having with some guy. He gave her one hell of a pounding on her cheek then ran. Officers didn't catch him." Cragen said.

The others continued staring, still not moving or talking.

"We're gonna do a blood and DNA comparison to confirm it's her, not that I think we need them."

Elliot in particular remained silent and frozen in front of the glass as he watched the agitated woman inside pace, the bruising on her cheek more than obvious. Suddenly she launched forward, banging the glass with the palm of her hands, "Let me hell out of here!" she yelled.

Elliot just continued staring at her as she stood there. He'd never forgotten even the slightest detail of the face looking back at him. How could he? She was his partner, his best friend, the person he loved with his whole heart. 

_It was Olivia, back from the dead…_

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Please review.**


	3. Chapter 2

**Thanks so much for the reviews. Sorry this one has taken a while, just been busy trying to update all my stories and I've been on holiday.**

**Disclaimer: They're not mine. They belong to Dick.**

**Chapter 2**

The team had all gone back into the squad room, leaving an officer watching over Rachael, aka Olivia. They were all discussing what had happened, what needed to happen. _How they were going to move on._

"I need to talk to her." Elliot suddenly said, unable to wait any longer.

"There's something else." Cragen told them, "She has no idea who I am. She say's she's never been here in her life."

"What about me?" Elliot asked, "Does she remember me?"

"I told her we would call you, and she had no idea who you were either." Cragen told him sensitively, "I'm sorry. She has no idea who Olivia Benson is. She says her name is Rachael Cameron."

"Her undercover alias?" Elliot thought out loud.

"The hooker she was portraying when…." Huang began.

"When she died," Fin finished for him.

Huang nodded. He didn't need to be told. Olivia had been his friend. Her 'death' had affected him too. He too had spent just as much time as the others trying to make sense of it.

"Wait, wait, wait, you're telling me she really thinks she is a hooker called Rachael?" Elliot asked.

Cragen nodded.

"And she has absolutely no idea who you are, or of this place, the SVU?" he continued.

Cragen nodded his head again.

"I need to talk to her." Elliot said.

"Elliot, no," Huang said, quickly stopping him. "She's suffering from some sort of trauma. She genuinely believes she is Rachael Cameron. We need to approach this gently. Try to get her to remember, not force her. That will just make things worse."

"And whilst we're trying what are we supposed to do? Let her back out there to keep on picking up guys. Let them abuse her."

"She's probably been working as a hooker since her death, her picking up guys and sleeping with them in consensual and part of her life now."

"Well it's not right, that's not her. No one wants to do that job and I'm sure as hell not going to let some guy abuse her like that."

"For some reason that life is all she knows! She only knows how to be Rachael. Maybe that's the best way to find out where she's been, find out how maybe this happened." Huang suggested.

Elliot looked at him for a moment before replying. "Fine." he said before making his way to the interrogation room, making a quick stop first. "But we can't let her go back out onto the streets."

- - - - - -

Rachael was sat in down at the table, tapping her long red painted nails on the table, clearly frustrated. She'd long given up yelling at someone to let her out. She looked up but didn't move when she heard the door open, but when she saw Elliot walk in she stood up.

"About God-damn time, can I go now? I'm late for work." she said sounding as pissed off as she looked.

"Sit down." Elliot told her simply.

She watched as he placed a cup of coffee down on the table followed by an ice pack. When he sat down, she did. She took the coffee but not the ice pack. She didn't really want to show him she was in pain, even though she was, her cheek was killing her.

As she took a swig of the coffee, Elliot couldn't help but notice her raise her eyebrows. "Is it okay?" he asked her.

"Just the way I like it." she said, "Lucky guess."

Elliot scoffed. "It's the way you've always like it." he said.

"Oh Christ! Not you as well. Look I am sorry that you thought you had found whoever it is you're looking for but I'm not her, so keep looking and just let me go, please!"

"Okay," Elliot said, remembering what Huang had suggested. "But first can you tell me your full name?"

Rachael sighed before she answered. "Rachael Cameron." she said, sounding bored.

"What no middle name?" Elliot asked.

"Didn't need one." she replied.

Elliot just shrugged. "Where were you born?" he asked.

"Queens." She told him. Elliot knew her undercover profile by heart so instantly knew that was an answer only belonging to her alias and not Olivia.

"Parents names?"

"Stuart and Carrie,"

_Another answer from her profile._

"Date of birth..?" he asked.

"A lady never reveals her age…"

Elliot just looked at her, "How long have you been working on the streets?"

This time she hesitated, clearly thinking about her answer. "For as long as I can remember." She told him.

"Where do you remember working before that?"

"Look, I know what you're doing. Don't I get a lawyer or something?"

"This is just a friendly chat." Elliot said.

"You're not my friend." She reminded him.

"Not anymore so it seems."

Rachael looked at him, she actually felt sorry for him, she secretly wondered about the person he was looking for. _Who she was, what she was like, was she worth being._

A silence fell upon them, in which time Rachael put down her coffee and reached out and took the ice pack, she put it on her face and groaned in pain.

"Hazard of the job?" Elliot questioned.

"There are worse." she answered.

"I'll bet." Elliot said.

"Oh, please, like being a cop is such a safe job."

"You never cared about that before."

Rachael scoffed, "You know you guys might have arrested me but you all need locking up yourselves!" she yelled as she stood up, threw the ice pack down and stormed over to the door. "You wanna charge me with assaulting a cop, or whatever then do it already so I can go!"

"You're not going Olivia, there is no way I'm gonna go let you work the streets again!"

"I'm not Olivia and you're insane!" she screamed at him.

"You're name is Olivia Benson. You were born here in Manhattan, Your mothers name is Serena Benson! You've never met your father, the only thing you know about him is he raped your mother, you have a half brother called Simon!" Elliot began, forgetting all about what Huang had said.

"Let me outta here!" she yelled at the mirror, trying to ignore him.

Elliot grabbed hold of her and spun her round before pushing her against the wall, forcing her to look at him. "Why can't you remember this? Why don't you remember us?" he screamed at her.

"What am I supposed to remember?" she screamed back at him.

For some reason that was what hit Elliot hard into reality. That's what made him really realize that she didn't, for some reason, remember anything.

He let go of her and stepped back, just as Cragen opened the door. Rachael looked at Elliot for a moment before storming out.

Munch, who had followed Cragen in, walked over to Elliot and placed his hand on his shoulder. "We're gonna get her back somehow Elliot. Her mind might have forgotten us but her heart can't have." he said encouragingly.

Elliot looked at him and nodded. He had thought losing her was the hardest thing he'd ever gone through, but now, having her back, only to have her not know him was possibly even harder…

**TBC**

**Go me I didn't finish a chapter with a cliffhanger!**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Please review.**


	4. Chapter 3

**Thanks for all the reviews guys. You rock!**

**Disclaimer: Not mine, not now, not ever.**

**Chapter 3**

Elliot had sat at his desk for more than 30 minutes after Rachael had left. He'd sat there in silence, lost in a million thoughts. All of them about Olivia, the person she'd become. It was Cragen who had finally persuaded him to go home. Elliot had simply agreed, to lost and confused in his head to argue with him.

As he now drove home he was still lost in his thoughts. It was night time and very dark out. The whole city seemed dead, just like how he felt inside. As he drove along the quiet streets the radio played away to itself. _He'd forgotten that it was on._

He turned up a street, a usual one that he took on his route home. He was more than pissed when he was stopped thanks to a van that was parked up in the middle of the street, its back doors wide open.

From the way the doors had been left he wondered if someone was about to move something with it, _furniture maybe._ He looked either side of him. The streets were dead and he could see nothing that would make him suspect someone was about to bring something out to the van. He couldn't help but be a little intrigued.

That was until he saw two men, dragging someone round to the back of the van, clearly having difficulty as the person struggled and tried to kick and hit them. It took him only seconds to realize who the person was. When he did, he jumped straight out of his car like a flash, pulling out his gun as he approached the two men who were oblivious to his presence.

"Freeze!" he yelled at them.

The men did freeze, for all of a second before they dropped Rachael and scattered like rats. Elliot wanted to go after them but instead ran over to Rachael, who was lying on the floor, holding her elbow and cursing in pain.

He quickly made sure she was reasonably okay. He'd just stood up to go pull the men out of the van when it pulled off. The screeching tyres deafening them as it sped off down the street and out of sight, Elliot tried to chase after it but it was gone too quick. He got a few numbers off the plate but not the whole thing.

"Damn-it." he muttered before he turned and walked back over to Rachael.

He knelt down next to her and took hold of her arm, in an effort to help her to her feet, but she yelped in pain and pulled her arm away. "Shit," she muttered, "Did they really have to drop me!? You told them to freeze. Ass-holes!" she whined.

"Can you stand up?" Elliot asked, a little shocked by her aggression. The Liv he knew would have gotten up and acted like nothing was wrong and probably tried to have chased after the van. He guessed Rachael wasn't so tough, or at least didn't care about appearances so much.

"Oh, that's gonna scar." she complained.

"I think you'll live." he said.

"Maybe, but no one wants to be looking at ugly scars whilst they're getting the kicks. Know what I'm sayin?"

Elliot just looked at her, wondering if Olivia actually was in there somewhere.

"You've got worse scars than that will be." he mumbled.

"Ha?" she asked, confused.

"Never mind. Come on." he said, taking hold of her as he began guiding her to his car.

"Where are we goin?" she asked.

"I'm gonna take you back to my place so we can get this sorted out." he said as he led her to the passengers side of the car.

- - - - - -

"That stings." Rachael whined.

"Hold still." Elliot told her, holding a cloth firmly in place on the nasty gash on her elbow. He was using TCP to clean it up, he knew it stung like a bitch but he also knew it was the best thing to use on an open wound like hers. Rachael winced and groaned in discomfort.

She sighed with relief when he finally took the cloth away and began putting a dressing on the wound. She watched as he carefully wrapped up her elbow. She then noticed his eyes, the care and concentration in them but also the hurt that was there. She was totally mesmerized by how blue and entrancing they were. As she looked up she quickly looked away like she had never been looking at them.

"Good as new." he said to her.

She smiled at him, "Not that I'm complaining giving the circumstances, but were you following me?" she asked.

"I was on my way home." he told her.

"Sure." she said, not totally believing him.

"You gonna tell me who those guys were?" he asked her.

"I have no idea. I've never seen them before in my life." she said as she continued holding her elbow up, studying the bruising that was there, thinking about the scar she'd have eventually.

Elliot grabbed her other arm and pushed her sleeve up, revealing an obvious scar that was a couple of inches long. "See, that's worse." he told her.

She snatched her arm back. "Look, if you've finished then I'm going. I'm not playing this game with you, again." she said firmly.

"Then just tell me how you got it?"

She paused, ready to humor him, "I fell off a bike when I was a kid. Happy?"

Elliot just looked at her.

"What, you never fell off a bike?!"

Elliot just shrugged his shoulder before grabbing the TCP soaked cloth and getting up. Rachael watched as he walked past her and into the kitchen. "Look, I appreciate this," she said holding her elbow up, "But I really should be going." she informed him as she stormed over to the door.

"Wait!" Elliot said, stopping her as she got to the front door and before she could open it, "Stay."

Rachael looked at him, a little confused.

"Just stay for the night." he said

"Sweetie, I charge for things like that, and you probably couldn't afford me anyway." Rachael said as she rubbed his shoulder sympathetically.

Elliot just looked down at her hand, feeling like this was all a dream, maybe a joke of some kind. "Excuse me, Julia Roberts, but you got it wrong. You can stay on the couch. I'll be in my bed." he said, "You've obviously pissed someone off, but they're not gonna come looking for you here, are they?"

She looked at him, a little embarrassed. "How's about you let a lady take the bed and you stay on the couch?" she said, putting on her sweetest smile.

Elliot had to smile. He'd seen Olivia smile like that once or twice. "Your choice." he said to her, anything to get her to stay where he knew she was safe.

She nodded, "Okay." she agreed.

"I'll set up the couch." Elliot said as he walked towards the closet, where he kept the spare blankets and things.

"Wait! Do you have something that I could sleep in?" she asked.

Elliot looked at her and thought about it. The thought of Olivia wearing his clothes made shivers go up his spine and thoughts race through his head. He cleared his throat before saying, "I'll take a look."

Rachael watched as he walked away. She was used to staying over at strange men's homes, but for some unknown reason to her, she didn't feel like a stranger to this guy's home. It had an odd feeling of familiarity to it.

She quickly shrugged the feeling off and followed after Elliot.

**TBC**

**Thanks so much for reading. I'd love to hear what you think.**


	5. Chapter 4

**Thanks for reviews guys, I really appreciate them.**

**Disclaimer: They still do not belong to me. Let's face it, they never will.**

**Chapter 4**

Elliot was adding the finishing touches to his bed for the night. He was trying to make it as comfy as possible. Even though, really, he knew there was no way he could succeed. His couch was old and lumpy and had never made a suitable bed. He decided if he could persuade Rachael to stay another night that he'd sort out the spare bedroom. It had become the junk room since the kids had stopped stopping over enough. They were too happy to kip on the couch for a night.

With his bed made, he looked over at his bedroom door, it was open slightly and the lights were still on. He was a little puzzled as Rachael had long gone to bed, well before he'd decided on having a shower before going to sleep. He decided to go check everything was okay.

He quietly crept over to the door and lightly knocked on it. "Oliv….Rachael?" he called out quietly. Willing to humor her if it meant keeping her here, where he knew he could look out for her. "Rachael, are you okay?" he asked, knocking again.

Upon still getting no reply he pushed the door open and poked his head around it. What he saw made him smile. He pushed the door fully open and walked in and looked at Rachael who was sound asleep on his bed, not even having bothered to get under the blankets before she had drifted off.

She was wearing his old NYPD hooded jacket. It was far too big for her but looked comfortable enough. He quickly noticed her legs, which were exposed. He couldn't help but study them. They were long and slim, toned and perfect, and her skin was a soft smooth caramel colour. He also couldn't help but think she looked so perfect, just like she always had to him.

Part of him wanted to wake her up, to tell her to get under the blankets, knowing how cold his apartment got at night, but the rest of him said 'no'. She looked peaceful and already deep in dream land. So, he walked over to the bed and reached over, folding the blankets over her, tucking them right up under her chin.

She snuggled into them and sighed before beginning to softly snore again. Elliot didn't even realize he was smiling as he looked down at her, watching her sleep. _It was her._ It _was_ his Olivia. It was just that, for some reason it was not her mind. It made his heart sink even lower than it had to think he may actually never really get her back.

He smiled at her before getting up and wandering out, ready to climb into bed, determined that in the morning he would try to help her remember who she really was and what her life was really about and what the people in it, like him, had _really_ meant to her.

- - - - - -

The two men who had been driving the van pulled up outside a well maintained town house. "Can't we just keep driving, I mean, as soon as Carlos knows we lost her we're both dead." the youngest man, Rich, said.

"He's not gonna shoot us," the other guy said, looking up at the house that was all lit up. Clearly full, as usual. "He's gonna kick our ass's but he's not gonna kill us. Besides we pretty much had her, would have had her if it wasn't for that guy." Brendan, the guy, said.

"Well, I'm not in the mood for getting my ass kicked, it's still pretty sore after the last ass kicking I got off this prick. Dude, can't we just go back to Brooklyn? We gotta better work there anyway, and no ass kicking's I might add."

Brendan looked at his younger brother. "If dad could hear you right now he'd be doing back flips in his grave and star jumps as well as the YMCA. You know he and Carlos were like family. He isn't going to hurt us. Thanks to dad, we're like his family too."

"This is Carlos you're talking about… The guy KILLED, _killed_, his own father, his own wife and his last eight girlfriends. The guy don't care if we is_ like _family to him. I'm telling you brother we go in there and we is gonna be walking back out dead men."

Brendan looked at his brother, sometimes he wondered if he actually heard himself when he spoke. He slapped him upside the head. "Fool." he yelled at him as he pulled up and parked in the drive.

Rich just looked at him, pissed and rubbing his head.

- - - - - -

Rich and Brendan had been let into the house and both nervously walked to where Carlos' study was. Brendan was much better than his sibling at hiding his nerves.

The rest of the guys shouted to them as they walked along, all knowing they were in for it for having not brought Rachael back with them. They got to the study and Brendan had to look up at Buck, Carlos body guard, as he spoke.

"Need to talk to Carlos." he told him.

Buck, as he had been nicknamed, no one but Carlos actually knew his real name, looked around Brendan and Rich, making what he was doing obvious. "You don't have what he wants." Buck pointed out.

"We had a little problem." Brendan informed him.

"What, you two together can't take on a hooker? Guess Carlos should have sent some _real_ men to fetch her."

"You gonna let us in or not?" Brendan asked, becoming more nervous as time passed but annoyed by Buck.

Buck smirked and stepped aside and knocked before opening up the door for them. "It was nice knowing you both." he said sarcastically as they walked in.

They both jumped as Buck slammed the door shut behind them. They stood looking at Carlos, who was leaning against his desk, with his back to them. After a moment he turned to look at them. "One more minute." he told them before turning back around.

Brendan and Rich looked at each other, a little confused as to what he was doing.

"That'll do." Carlos exclaimed after a minute or so had passed by. He was sounding very satisfied with someone.

Rich and Brendan watched as Carlos suddenly pulled up a girl from in front of him, a tight hold on her hair. The girl was dressed in skimpy underwear and looked no more than 17 years old, her eyes dead and cold. They watched as she wiped her mouth. They both suddenly knew what had just been happening before their eyes.

Carlos let go of the girl and pointed to a door in the corner. "That a good girl." he said, slapping her ass as she walked past him and disappeared through the door. Carlos straightened himself out and pulled and zipped up his trousers before walking round the other side of the desk.

"She's good, but not as good as my Rachael. Speaking of which, where is she? Still in the van? I told you I want her in one piece when I get her boys."

"We had a little problem." Brendan said, nervous as hell.

"What sort'a problem?" Carlos asked, seemingly staying reasonably calm.

"We'd just picked her up when some guy jumped outta a car behind us. He had a gun. I think he was a cop. We had to just run." Brendan told him.

"So you're saying that a cop has Rachael?" Carlos asked. He was beginning to sound a little pissed.

"We followed her from the Special Victims Unit place." Brendan said, half expecting Carlos to pull out a gun and shoot them both there and then.

"So she's blabbing to the cops about me? That ungrateful bitch! Who's the cop that has her now!" Carlos yelled.

"We don't know. We went to the meting place, like you told us, to pick her up and when we got there she was having some argument with a guy, think he was trying to get some, she was having none of it. Cops showed up and they arrested her when she hit one of them."

"Still as aggressive as ever I see." Carlos said as he calmed down again. "Where is she now?" he asked them.

"We don't know." Rich said, finally speaking up.

"You two know what this cop looks like, you know what I mean, would you recognize him if you saw him again?" Carlos asked them, in a tone that said, 'I'll only ask you once'.

"Yeah," Brendan said, not totally sure he would but praying it might be a death row pardon if he could find the guy.

Carlos looked at them. "Then you two just got lucky. You find him and I'll let you off. You bring him _and_ Rachael to me and I'll make sure you two get all the best jobs from now on. I'll give both you boys a pay rise." he said, smiling smugly as he walked behind them before moving to stand between them, wrapping an arm around their shoulders. "You boys disappoint me again and I'll make sure your heads a mounted on my wall. Got it?!" he yelled.

"Yeah," they both said sheepishly.

"Good, now get the fuck outta my house and go find them. Oh and boys, remember, I want her in one piece." he reminded them.

They both nodded and quickly left the room. Both of them finally let go of the breath that they had each been holding. They moved swiftly through the house, out to the van, out to safety, neither giving Carlos the chance to change his mind and send Buck after them.

- - - - - - -

Elliot woke up to a pain in his back and neck but an amazing smell of eggs and bacon. He sat up and looked over to the kitchen. He could see Rachael, _still in his jacket_, stood by the cooker, eating toast and flipping bacon, singing along to the radio that he hadn't realized was on till now.

He threw the blankets up and stood up, rolling the aces out of his neck. He was wearing sweats so figured that not wearing a shirt wasn't too bad. Olivia had seen him without a shirt on dozens of times.

He walked into the kitchen and was a little shocked to see Rachael was _only _wearing his jacket, her legs exposed to him once more. Luckily his shirt was big enough to cover her ass. Well he supposed that was lucky…_for her…_

"You cook now?" he said as he opened the fridge and pulled out the orange juice.

He startled her and she quickly spun around, "Oh hey, good morning. You kind'a jumped me there." she said as she turned the radio down. "Hope you like eggs and bacon." she said as she turned around and continued cooking. "Well I guess you must, I mean, you had them in your fridge and you live alone so they must be for you, right." she rambled.

Elliot just continued swigging juice from the carton, looking over it as she spoke, nodding at what she was saying.

She turned to look at him. She sighed and quickly turned around and grabbed a glass off the drain board and then took the juice from him, causing some to spill onto his chin as she snatched it away from his mouth.

"You may live alone but that doesn't mean you should drink from the carton. You never know whose grubby hands have touched this. Then you go putting your lips all over it, gross." she rambled as she poured some juice into the glass then held it out to him to take. "This is much healthier." she told him with a smile.

Elliot knew his jaw was wide open but he couldn't stop it. He wondered how this person_, who he knew was Olivia_, could be so totally different from her. Olivia never rambled, never really told him what he should or shouldn't do and certainly didn't stand around half dressed, nor did she go on about germs on food and drink cartons, that was more Munch's thing.

He took the glass from her then watched as she turned and grabbed a plate, ready to put food out for him.

"You not eating?" he asked her, seeing she'd only grabbed one plate.

"Oh I never eat breakfast. Well, just some fruit usually, which by the way you haven't got." she informed him as she turned and passed him a plate filled with bacon, eggs and toast. He took it from her, immediately thinking how delicious it looked.

"You're welcome." she said with a smile, seeing the one that had appeared on his face at the sight of the food in front of him.

"I may be bad at maths but I know I can cook." she said as she walked past him.

Elliot turned and followed her. "You're great at math's." he said as he sat down at the breakfast bar.

She turned and looked at him, scowling. "Are you gonna start that again already, you just woke up."

"Sorry." Elliot said before tucking into his breakfast.

Rachael looked at him and sighed. She couldn't help but notice how adamant he seemed that she was this person he was looking for. "Do you mind if I use your shower before I go? I really don't want to be seen out looking like this."

Elliot looked at her. His mouth was full of food so he just nodded.

"Thanks." she said before heading off to the bathroom.

Elliot swallowed the mouth-full of food he had and watched as she practically skipped across his apartment to his bathroom, singing again. As soon as the bathroom door shut his apartment was silent. Part of him was almost wondering if this really was Olivia or just a really great look alike. _He thought about it._ He'd never seen Olivia practically skipping and he'd certainly never heard her singing.

He pushed his thoughts aside and tucked back into his breakfast, loving every mouthful.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Now I know that wasn't a cliff hanger because I didn't stop it with anything major happening or about to happen…well unless you were waiting for some kissing or something…oh….wait, that happens in the next chapter.**

**How's that for a teaser? LOL**

**Review if you want the chapter and ultimately the smooching…please. :D**


	6. Chapter 5

**Thanks for all the reviews. So here is the chapter that I teased about. Most of you want to know when Olivia will come back as in when will Rachael stop being Rachael and be Olivia again…my my that could get confusing….anyway, as I've said to most of you things will start to happen soon.**

**Anyway, last update for a few days because I have to go away till Monday, I'll update straight away when I get back.**

**Chapter 5**

Elliot had jogged to the corner store and back, changed, washed the dished and read the paper by the time Rachael appeared out of the bathroom, washed, groomed and ready for the day. She was still wearing his jacket but he really didn't mind, he liked the way she looked in it.

Her hair was hanging down around her face. It was longer than he had ever seen Olivia have it, coming down just underneath her breasts, and it was slightly wavy and a gorgeous rich chocolate colour. _He loved it._

He was aware that he was staring at her but he just couldn't help it. She'd put hardly any make up on and she looked like Olivia again. Well, mostly, the heels and the short dress made her _not_ like Olivia.

His staring was beginning to make Rachael feel a little nervous, actually very nervous. "That showers the best I've ever had." she exclaimed, snapping him out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, yeah it is…p…pretty great." he stuttered.

They both stood, staring at one another till it was becoming awkward, again.

"Right…" Rachael began to say at the same time Elliot said, "I have some fruit."

"Oh," Rachael said, a little lost for words. "I thought you had none?"

"Well I got some from the store whilst I was out jogging." he said, blushing slightly.

"That's sweet." Rachael said as she walked into the kitchen to get the fruit she could now see on the worktop, that's also when she noticed the clean dishes. "You washed the dished too? Wow, was I really in the shower that long?" she said feeling a little guilty.

"It's a great shower." Elliot said, smiling, making her suddenly forget about feeling guilty.

"So, don't you have to be in work or something?" she asked him before taking a big bite of an apple.

"Well I figured I'd stay here with you for a bit."

"Look, I appreciate you letting me stay here last night and everything, but I can't stay again. I have mouths to feed, bread to put on the table." she told him.

Elliot looked at her, shocked. "You have kids?" he asked.

"Well no, but I have to feed myself and my boyf…this guy I'm kinda with, he relies on me to make some money."

"So, your boyfriend is happy for you to go out, sell your body and make him some money?"

"It isn't like that….I…I owe him." she said, not sounding convinced.

"For what?" Elliot asked her.

She looked at him, for some reason she wanted to give him the honest answer which was, "I don't remember…"

Elliot looked at her, _'break through'_ he thought.

"Well I do…It's…it's because he took me in. When I had no one and no where and stuff." Still she didn't sound convinced by her own words.

"Fine then, stay here with me. I'll take you in. You'll owe me nothing."

Rachael looked at him. She was in Shit Street at the moment, she knew how far in Shit Street she was too, so his offer was tempting, very, very tempting. "I don't even know you." she said as she walked past him, ready to go, confused.

Elliot quickly gave chase. Grabbing her wrist, stopping her and making her turn, without much force at all, to look at him. "You know you want to say yes." he said to her.

"Why?" she said, tears in her eyes. Why? She wasn't sure. Maybe it was the sad look in his eyes. "So you can tell me I'm someone I'm not."

"Fine, if you don't want me to tell you then let me show you." he offered.

"You really are insane." she muttered, pulling out of his grasp and walking to the front door.

"Answer me one question then?" he called to her, making her stop dead at the door, hesitate, before turning around to face him, tears in her eyes.

"Tell me something that you did, or that happened to you more than three years ago and don't lie." he said.

Her hesitation was obvious. The truth was her past _was_ a blur to her. The only memories she had were living with her 'boyfriend' and being a prostitute and everything about being one, the pimps, the punters, the good, the bad and the plain evil. She also knew of how much trouble she was in, but before that she had no idea…no memories.

"What's your point?" she asked, sounding exhausted.

Elliot walked right up to her. He looked into her tear filled eyes and then reached up and gently brushed away a tear that escaped and rolled down her cheek. She closed her eyes and nuzzled her face against his hand when he held it against her face.

She then reached up and held her hand against the back of his. There was no denying something felt so familiar about him, about his touch. She opened her eyes and looked back into his. Then, like magnets, their faces were drawn together until their lips touched.

Elliot delicately kissed her top lip, softly sucking on it before simply kissing it again. Not only did it bring something back for him but also her…

_It had been a long and hard day at the SVU. Two small children had been murdered by their step-father. There was nothing the SVU could do for them except try to catch their killer, prosecute him. However, legal technicalities meant he'd gotten away with it and was now out to hurt whoever else he could. Yeah, they were gonna keep a watch on him, but that was about all they could do. The case had gotten to the whole team._

_Elliot was at home, looking at a picture of him and all his children. He couldn't imagine how a parent could hurt their own children or let someone else. He knew that he sure as hell would never hurt them and that he'd walk through fire before he let anyone else._

_He put the picture back down on his bedside table as he heard someone knock on the door. He didn't feel a bit like company but was still intrigued enough to want to know who was knocking at his door at such a late time._

_He opened it up to reveal Olivia. Her eyes red and puffy, her face tear stained. He didn't need to ask what was up. He knew. She was feeling as bad as he did and he almost envied her that she was willing to show it. _

_As fresh tears began to fall he took hold of her and pulled her into him. Holding onto her as he eased them both into his apartment and pushed the door shut behind her. Then he simply held her and let her cry._

"_I can't get those kids faces out of my head. I keep seeing them. Why couldn't we just have got to them in time." she cried into his chest._

"_We did all we could Liv. You have to stop beating yourself up over this. This wasn't your fault." he soothed as he stroked her soft hair._

_Olivia still needed more convincing. "There must have been something more we could have done, still something we can do. We can't let him go to just hurt other kids." she said as she now looked into his eyes. He was looking right back into hers._

"_Liv, somewhere there's this bullshit rule that says we can't save everybody. Sometimes that's just the way it is. It's not fair and it's not easy to follow, but we don't always have a choice." he said, stroking her face as her tears slowly stopped._

_She daren't look him in the eyes as his words sunk in. She knew they were true, every one of them, but still, "Then why do I still feel so bad?" she asked him, tears building up again._

"_Because your hearts too big and you wanna save everyone." he said, delicately brushing a stray strand of hair back off her face. _

_He was a little surprised when she turned her face a little so she could kiss the palm of his hand. He watched as she rested her cheek in his palm but looked into his eyes again. Suddenly he couldn't resist it any longer. He cupped her face in both hands and met her lips with his. Olivia had seen what he wanted and she wanted it right back. She placed her hands over his and met his kiss wholeheartedly._

_It didn't take long for it to really heat up and tender went straight to passionate. It took about as less time for Elliot to lead Olivia into his room, where he laid her down on the bed and they made love for the first time ever to each other._

_The event had happened many more times, until 2 months later Olivia went under cover and he lost her…_

As Elliot pulled his lips away from Rachael's he found he was looking right back into her eyes. He had his closed for the kiss but she hadn't. He could see the confusion on her face.

"What happened to me?" she asked him, tears falling down her cheeks.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading.**

**Sorry to leave it there but I have to for now. I'll be updating as soon as I possibly can.**

**Please, please review.**


	7. Chapter 6

**Thanks for the reviews. Sorry you guys had to wait for me to get back before I could update, but I'm back and here is. Hope you enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, I own nothing.**

**Chapter 6**

True to his own word, Elliot had 'cleared out' the spare room. By 'cleared out' he meant having just piled everything into closets and cupboards, in doing so clearing a path to the bed in the corner. He'd done this because Rachael had decided to stay. _She'd even helped him out._

She'd decided to stay at Elliot's for now because she was confused. Not wanting to believe what she had remembered but knowing she had to, and he was the only one who could really help her remember.

There was too much about her life now that she couldn't remember and that's why she knew Elliot had been right all along. _She was someone else._ The thought scared the shit out of her.

Whilst Elliot was making coffee she had begun wandering around his apartment. There was no denying how familiar it all felt. She ended up in his bedroom, because most of what she was seeing in her head, the memories, as blurred as they was, were based in here, in the very room she stood.

She looked down at the bed and like a projector playing in her head could see images of her and Elliot in front of her. Elliot was running his hand up her leg, slowly, before resting it against her waist, gently holding her there as they moved together.

She closed her eyes and shook her head, _not ready for all the memories just yet_. More had to be explained to her before she could allow them to all flood back, if they would.

She looked around and spotted a picture next to Elliot's bed. She walked over to it and picked it up to study it. It was of Elliot and five children, they all looked like him, aspects of them anyway, mostly the big blue eyes. One in particular she recognized, he could have been no more than one or so in the picture. "Eli…" she thought out loud.

"You should remember him," Elliot said from behind her, making her spin round to face him. She was startled but calmed quickly. _She felt at so safe around him._ "You're the reason he's alive." he told her.

She tired to think of why Elliot would say that but it wasn't coming back. She rubbed her neck, suddenly feeling pain in it.

"You've had that twinge in your neck ever since that day. You always tried to hide it from me, but I noticed." Elliot said to her, willing the memories to come back to her.

She looked at him for a moment before looking back at the picture, concentrating on it, mostly on little Eli. She closed her eyes but quickly opened them as one minute she was looking out of a car window the next was being pushed across the street, the sound of crushing metal deafening her before pain hit her.

"It was a crash." she said to Elliot, who just simply nodded. "We were hit. It came out from nowhere." she said, suddenly and somehow remembering it like it had been yesterday. "Kathy…?" she questioned, the name repeating itself over and over in her head.

Elliot paused before saying anything. "She's my wife." he said.

Rachael looked at him, a sadness hitting the pit of her stomach for a reason she wasn't totally sure of but guessed had something to do with the way Olivia felt for Elliot. She felt like it was a familiar feeling Olivia got when Elliot mentioned his wife.

"Was…my wife," Elliot quickly added. "We separated before…well before I lost you. We officially got divorced whilst you were away. She and the kids moved away from here." he said taking the picture from her hands so he could look at his children, who all still amazed him and all who he couldn't be more proud of, especially Kathleen who had come full circle from the way she had gone. "I still see em' sometimes. When they're not busy doing there own things." he said, faking a smile.

Rachael could see right through it.

"Do you have any pictures of me…I mean…her…whoever it is I am?" she asked him a little sheepishly.

Elliot just smiled at her and nodded.

- - - - - -

It had taken Elliot all of five minutes to dig out the box of pictures he had that contained Olivia. There were a few other things of hers in it too, but he'd get to them eventually. Rachael was too fixed on the photos for the time being.

There weren't really that many pictures. The ones there were mostly of her in the SVU. She instantly recognized it from her recent visit to the place. There were a few other people on the pictures too, ones she recognized from having seen at the SVU when she had been there.

Then there was one of Elliot and her. She studied it for a moment, smiling at the smiles on both of their faces. They were sat on his desk in the squad room, hugging. She was nestled neatly against him.

"That was your birthday. You hoped we'd all forgotten about it, but when we surprised you with a cake and presents you didn't object. I hadn't seen you smile and laugh like you did that day in what had seemed like ages. It was really great to see." Elliot said, smiling to her. He really couldn't seem to stop smiling around her.

She smiled back and flipped to the next picture. It was of her and Elliot again, this time they were clearly on a date. They were in a restaurant, stood on a dance floor. He was behind her with his arms wrapped around her waist, his face nuzzled against hers, she was holding onto his arms. They looked perfect together.

"Our first date." he told her. "Our only date, actually." he said making her laugh as well as himself. "Every time we planned to go out somewhere something came up, work, my kids, just something… In the end we just gave up and would stay in at my place or your place. Mostly your place." he paused before saying, "It killed me clearing out your place. I probably kept practically al of your stuff. I had it for years then I knew you'd kick my ass so I gave most of it to a charity shop."

Rachael looked at him. She hated not knowing what had happened to her…how she'd 'died'…how she'd broke his heart. "How did I, you' know, die or whatever?" she asked, laughing nervously.

Elliot looked into her eyes as he thought of the best way to tell her. Realizing there was none he just came out with it. "You were working undercover. Your undercover alias was Rachael Cameron, you were a hooker. You were working for a man named Leon Morton. We suspected him of child rape, forcing them to be prostitutes as well as grown women."

Rachael looked at him, tears filling her eyes. "Son-of-a-bitch said he only employed women who wanted to work. If I'd have known he used kids and forced people." Rachael said, guilt stabbing at her.

"What's the last thing you remember?" he asked her.

She thought about it, hard, the last thing she remembered…

_She woke up in a hospital room, not a nice one at that. It didn't smell clean, there were people around her, coughing, shouting at nurses, complaining about just about everything; their bed wasn't comfy, they needed more pain killers, they had to pee. She just wanted them all to shut up. Her head was killing her, pounding like someone was using it to play a drum on. _

_She reached up to hold it. She felt a bump on it the size of a goose egg. She groaned in pain, waking up the snoozing person in a chair next to her. "Rach, Rachael. Thank God you're okay. Thank god." he said as she watched him get up and take hold of her hand. "You really had me worried for a while there." he said to her._

"_Leon?" she questioned._

"_Yeah, baby. I'm here." He said, planting a hard kiss on her lips, which for some reason seemed to hurt. Her whole body ached. She felt like she'd been thrown from a moving train. _

"_Hey, baby, can you walk?" he asked her._

"_I think so." she said._

"_Good. Come on." he said, pulling her up._

"_What, well, where are we going?" she asked him._

"_Come on. We need to get outta here before the cops show up." he said, putting his jacket on her before grabbing her other clothes and pulling her right up off the bed. _

_Together they ran out of the hospital…_

"After that we went to some motel. I slept for about two days. Then it was back to work." Rachael told Elliot.

Elliot nodded. "You'd hit your head?" he asked.

"Yeah, really, really hard. I still have a bump and a scar." she said, lifting his hand up to feel the evidence in her hair. "Feel it?"

"Yeah," he said. He was suddenly wondering if she'd actually hit her head hard enough somehow to make her forget everything. He wasn't totally sure if that could even happen but he was sure as hell going to check.

Rachael continued rummaging through the box. She found something that grabbed her attention. She pulled it out of the box to examine it closer. It looked like a wallet but when she flipped it open there was a gold badge and an ID card inside. She read the ID, Olivia Benson. It was her, on the picture.

She could just see herself holding it up to someone, saying "I'm a detective." It made her smile. She liked the sound of it. It's not like anyone would want to hold a badge up saying, 'hooker'.

She was really starting to hate the person she was now. She threw the badge back into the box and sighed. Then she noticed another picture and so pulled it out. This one was framed. She guessed the person in shades, with short dark hair, was her. She had no clue as to who the other woman stood next to her, their arm wrapped lovingly around her, was.

"You remember her?" Elliot asked.

"Should I?" she asked.

"That's your mom." he said to her.

She looked at him, shocked. She suddenly thought back to what he had said to her in the interrogation room. "So, I guess that there's not going to be many pictures of my father." she said, finding it a little sad, even if she did know the circumstances. "Were me and my mother close?" she asked him.

"Not quite. She had issues even before you came along. Your father ra…doing what he did just made them worse. She drank way too much…"

"Where is she now?" she asked interrupting him.

"She died." he told her.

She just nodded. "A while ago?" she asked.

"A pretty long time ago." he clarified.

Finding the trip down memory lane suddenly a little hard, she put the picture back down into the box and pushed it away. "So, I have no mother. My father's a rapist. What's my brother like?" she asked, remembering him mentioning she had one.

"You stopped speaking long before the accident." he told her, "I'm pretty sure we could find him if you wanted? I called to invite him to your funeral but he didn't show up. Last I heard he'd moved to Ireland."

She just nodded again, "And I don't see my father?" she questioned.

"He's dead too." he told her.

"Aunt's, Uncles? Any more brother or sisters…a cat?" she asked, suddenly crying.

Elliot just shook his head.

"So I'm still all alone." she said sadly.

"You always had me…have me, and everyone at the precinct. We were your family…are your family." he said, trying to cheer her up.

She just smiled at him. As he smiled back at her, his big blue eyes shining away, she was hit with feelings in the pit of her stomach, ones she knew she'd felt before but not as Rachael. The feelings made her want to get lost in his eyes and feel his touch, kiss his lips. _So, she went with it._ She leant forward and softly placed her lips on his, kissing them tenderly.

Elliot, unable to not kiss her back, reached up and placed his hand on her face, tangling his finger up in her hair and deepened the kiss. She immediately allowed his tongue access to her mouth and gladly let it explore before letting her own tongue massage his.

She was becoming lost in thoughts, realizing how much happier this life, as opposed to the one she had, was. She quickly realized that she didn't want to give it up, didn't want to go back to being Rachael, didn't care what happened to Leon, and didn't want to have some strange horrible guy all over her.

She just wanted this life…with Elliot, as Olivia.

**TBC**

**Does that count as a cliff hanger???**

**Thanks for reading. You know how much I love to hear what you guys think. Next update will be soon, quicker with reviews.**


	8. Chapter 7 Chapter 8

**This is two chapters in one. For some reason it wouldn't allow me to upload chapter 7 so I had to attach it to Chapter 8. Which is good in a way because you get to read two chapters instead of one. **

**I would like to appologise for how long it has taken to update this story. **

**Thanks for reading. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine. All belong to their respectful owners.**

**Chapter 7**

Their kissing session had been interrupted by a phone call, which Elliot chose to ignore but when Kathy's voice followed after the beep and was played out over the answer machine, he quickly picked up.

"Yeah," he said, stating how annoyed he was. "No you weren't interrupting. What's up?" he asked, softening his tone a little.

Rachael watched as he paused, obviously meaning Kathy was speaking now, even though she had yet to know who Elliot was speaking too.

"Okay Kathy, put him on." he said, informing Rachael of who it was, suddenly making her feel very awkward. "Hey Eli, your mom said you've been fighting in school. What's up buddy? You know that's no way to solve your problems." he said, speaking calmly, which may have surprised Olivia but Rachael didn't know any better.

She tried not to listen in but couldn't really help it. She waited for Elliot for ten minutes before he finished the call and hung up. "Sorry about that. Eli, he's been fighting in school recently. Every time he gets into trouble Kathy calls me. He's never liked school since he started. He's young and not having both his parents there all the time is hard on him." Elliot told her. She just nodded. "Sorry that took so long…"

"Hey don't apologise, he's your kid, he's your family." she said, still feeling sad that she, well Olivia, had none.

An awkward silence fell upon them until Elliot spoke up. "Why don't I take you out for dinner tonight?"

"I don't know."

"Come on. It would be fun." Elliot said with an encouraging smile.

"And what do I wear. All my clothes are at my Leon's and I'm not going back there. I don't want anything to do with him anymore."

Elliot smiled, he really liked that thought. "I might have something for you." he said before walking out of the room.

She was more than puzzled, mainly as to how and why he had something suitable for a women so she quickly got up and followed him. He'd wandered into his bedroom and was now rummaging about in the closet. "Just what do you have that would suit me?" she asked him.

"This." he said before pulling out a gift wrapped box.

Rachael took it, intrigued. She walked over to the bed and sat down before placing the box down next to her. She then carefully untied the ribbon and pulled off the lid. As she pushed away the protective wrapping paper her jaw dropped. She reached in and pulled out a black dress.

"I got that for you hoping you might wear it on our second date…the one we never had." Elliot said a little sadly.

Rachael looked at him, a huge smile plastered on her face. "Then lets go on it tonight." she said, "I'll go try this on." she said, skipping over to the bathroom.

Elliot just laughed to himself before turning to the closet to look for something for himself to wear.

There had been one more thing he had hoped to give Olivia during their second date, that too was still in it's box. Waiting to be given to her….

~0~0~0~0~

They had spent the rest of the day reminiscing, mainly Elliot telling Rachael things. It surprised both of them how much stuff she was beginning to remember. One of the most puzzling to Elliot was her remembering Munch's obsession with government conspiracies, it puzzled him even more that she remembered most of them, far more than him.

The day had flown by and it had gotten late and both had growling stomachs so Elliot had decided it was time for him to take her out. They had both spent the last hour or so getting ready, well Rachael had. Elliot had been ready for ages so had taken to pacing nervously, waiting for Olivia to come out of his bedroom where she had been getting ready.

Finally he heard the door handle turn. His jaw dropped when he turned to see her walk out of the room.

The black dress she wore was perfect, it was short, showing him her legs that he adored so much. It hugged all of her curves, making them look even more amazing. The thin straps were off the shoulders and highlighted not only her cleavage but also her neck which Elliot suddenly couldn't stop imagining kissing.

"I love it." Elliot said to her.

"I just can't believe how well it fits." she said.

~0~0~0~0~

The restaurant had been great, the food had tasted amazing, the wine had been the best and overall Elliot didn't want the night to end and neither did Olivia.

Rachael had eaten in some amazing restaurants, some of the very best, whatever the clients wanted but somehow having eaten with Elliot had been much more enjoyable. She knew it was because she had loved doing it. _It was what she wanted. What Olivia wanted._

Sitting opposite him, talking more and more about the past had made her forget all about Rachael and that life. She felt like she had woke up from a dream. Olivia was almost back.

As they walked along his street Olivia linked her arm around Elliot's. She had no jacket and she was freezing. Elliot could feel her shivering as she leant into him.

"Are you cold?" he asked.

"Freezing." she said. She loved the dress but she was now wishing that it covered a little more flesh.

"Should have bought a jacket." Elliot said to her. He then turned to face her, a huge smile on his face. He stopped walking and took his jacket off and placed it over her shoulders.

As they began walking again she reached down and held his hand. Neither of them noticed the car that was slowly and silently following them, hanging back down the road.

Elliot was considering telling Olivia about what he had had planned for their original second date, but he was hesitant, not wanting to scare Rachael.

"You know, I feel like I'm me again, but being me means remembering all the cases we've worked, the victims. I can't remember how to cope with that yet." she said distracting him from his thoughts.

He was about to answer her when someone behind her pulled Elliot's jacket off and took off running. It happened so quick that it took a second for it to register with either Olivia or Elliot. As soon as it did Elliot began chasing them.

"Elliot don't! Leave it, it's just a jacket!" she called after him. They had no idea if the thief had a knife and the thought of him getting hurt scared the hell out of her.

She could only watch as Elliot continued chasing the person. Suddenly she noticed the car driving towards her as Elliot ran off in the other direction. She was confused until the car stopped close enough for her to recognise it. _"Leon…"_

She seemed frozen as she watched Leon get out of the car. "Get in the car now Rachael!" he told her.

She stepped back as he stepped towards her. "No." she said, she was Rachael again now. Scared of the guy in front of her, part of her wanted to do just as he told her.

"Get in the god-damn car. You've been gone days. What the hell have you been doing. Do you have any idea how much money I've lost with you going awol?" he said as he walked up to her and grabbed her wrist, pulling her towards the car. "You have a lot of making up to do. I have clients lined up waiting." he said as he dragged her over to the car.

"No." she muttered, she couldn't go back to that.

Having stopped being Rachael and being Olivia again had brought back floods of memories of rape victims, but remembering what it was like to be Rachael again brought floods of memories of clients, of the things she had to do to them, with them or that they did to her.

"No!" she screamed, trying to pull away.

"Move it Rachael!"

"El!" she screamed.

Elliot heard her cries and stopped dead. He'd put a lot of distance between them. His heart began pounding faster when he saw the man trying to drag her away. He took off running again, this time towards her. "Police!" he yelled.

Leon saw him and stepped next to Olivia, he wrapped his arms around her and picked her up, carrying her over to the car. He'd pinned her arms down by her side so she couldn't fight him. She kicked her legs, connecting a few times with his legs. She could see Elliot getting closer but she knew she was going to be trapped in the car before he got to them.

She kicked her leg again, as hard as she could. It worked, injuring Leon enough to bring him down. He fell to the floor crushing her beneath him. "Bitch!" he muttered as he quickly got back up. He grabbed her arm and was about to try dragging her into the car again but he saw how close Elliot now was. He wouldn't have time.

"You'll regret this Rachael!" he spat at her before jumping into the car, speeding off before Elliot got to them

Elliot wanted to chase after him, but seeing Olivia struggle to get up from the floor stopped him. He quickly helped her to her feet.

"Are you okay?" he asked her.

"I'm fine. Forgot how heavy he was on top." she said brushing herself off. "Are you okay? Why did you go chasing after him El, it's just a jacket."

"I'm sorry. It had my wallet in it." he told her looking at a small scratch she had on her shoulder.

~0~0~0~0~

Out of breath Rich jumped into the van. "Go go go!" he all but screeched at Brendan who did as instructed and sped off.

"Did you get it?" Brendan asked.

"Jack pot!" Rich said triumphantly as he pulled Elliot's wallet out of his jacket pocket. "Elliot Stabler, you're about to meet Carlos." he said studying Elliot's driving license.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Please read Chapter 8, which you can find below. : )**

**Disclaimer: Still not mine.**

**Chapter 8**

"Ouch, that stuff stings." Olivia whined as Elliot pressed a TCP soaked cloth down on her cut shoulder.

"Have you seen the streets of New York; they're covered in dirt. Do you want this to get infected?" he said as he continued cleaning her small wound.

"No." she said. "Besides this. Tonight was great." Olivia said, "Thank you." she said as she leant forward and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.

Elliot began grinning like a fool. "What was that for?" he asked, still grinning.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "For saving me from those guys."

Elliot leant forward and kissed her softly on the lips.

"What was that for?" she asked, wearing the same grin as him.

"Because I wanted to." he told her. There was no other explanation.

She looked at him for a moment then pulled his hand off her shoulder where it still held the cloth. She shifted forward on the couch and then placed his hand down on her thigh. She placed her hands on his face and pulled it closer until their lips met. Elliot placed his other hand on her other thigh and returned the kiss completely.

It was early in the morning when Olivia woke up. She smiled, looking right into the eyes of Elliot. "Morning," he said to her.

"Morning." she said back. "About last night…"

"Last night was amazing." Elliot said, reaching out and tangling his hand up in her hair.

Olivia smiled back at him before she pushed herself up and lowered herself down on top of him, their warm naked bodies touching. _Last night had been amazing._

~0~0~0~0~

As they walked to his car, Elliot and Olivia held hands and they both had a skip in their step. As they got to his car Elliot stopped Olivia and gave her another kiss. "Come on, or you'll be late." Olivia told him, playfully pushing him away.

Elliot walked round the car. He was just about to unlock the door, when there was a bang. He groaned in pain as a bullet ripped through his shoulder. He'd been shot many times before but somehow it never got easier to take, each time hurt as much as the last time. The pain was however put on the sideline when he tires screech to a halt followed by a scream from Olivia.

Elliot pushed himself upright and ran over to where Olivia was getting dragged over to a van by three men. He stopped when he felt a gun pointed at his head. "I suggest you stay very still." a unfamiliar voice said.

Although he didn't move Elliot looked around. The street was deserted. _How could that be possible _he thought to himself, _this is New York. _

"I know all about you and I know where your family lives." the voice growled at him.

"Elliot!" Olivia screamed as she was thrown into the back of the van.

Elliot tried to move forward, to go help her but the gun was jabbed harder into his skull. "Move, call the police or in anyway try to play the hero your family is dead!"

"Where are you taking her?" he asked looking at the van that sat there, ready to zoom off once the person holding a gun to his head got in.

"That's none of your concern." the person said before he slammed the gun down against Elliot's head, knocking him out cold.

~0~0~0~0~

All Olivia could do was struggle against the cable ties around her wrist. She wanted to scream but the gag in her mouth prevented that. She looked around at the people who held her down. It pissed her off and scared her at the same time that she could not see their faces. That was until one of them pulled off their mask.

"Leon." she said, muffled by the gag in her mouth.

"Hey. How's my best girl doin?" Leon said in a friendly tone before he reached down and pinched her chin in his hand. "I hope you had a lot of sleep on your time off because your going to be making it up for days to come." he told her as he pulled the gag off.

"No Leon. I quit. I'm not doing this anymore. This isn't who I am." she said.

Leon looked at her, puzzled. Then he began to laugh, that is before he whipped his arm out and slapped her across the face. "Tough!" he spat at her.

They were all suddenly thrown across the van, one way, then another, then another and then another. The sound of metal scraping on concrete deafened them all. Finally they came to a halt. The sound stopped but carried on ringing in their ears. Each of them groaned in pain. Olivia had been squashed underneath everyone and struggled to push everyone off her. Leon lay next to her, he too struggled to free himself from people lying over him.

They both looked over at the back doors that were opened, horizontally as opposed to vertically as they should be. Olivia looked at Leon, praying if this had been an accident someone would realise she had been abducted, hoped they might help her.

Instead she screamed as a shot rang out and Leon slumped back against the wall of the van, a neat bullet hole on his forehead. Then more shots and the other men in the van were also quickly and neatly killed. She was waiting for the gun to be turned on her. Waiting for herself to be killed quickly and neatly.

It was because of this that she was surprised when two men jumped in and pulled her up, dragging her out of the van. She suddenly knew that this wasn't help. She screamed for help as the men dragged her over to a car. She struggled with them as one of them picked her up. Before she could stop them she was thrown into the trunk. She tried to scream for help again but the door was slammed shut above her.

She was more than scared now. She had been abducted by one person only to be abducted by another. That still didn't stop her from screaming. As she was once again forced to wonder where she was being taken to? By who? What was going to happen to her?

Tears began to fall, but she took a deep breath. Now was no time to fall apart so she continued screaming for help. _Her efforts were all in vain. _

**TBC**

**I'll be updating more soon. **

**Thanks for reading. Please review. **


	9. Chapter 9

**Thanks for all the reviews for the last two chapters that I had to post together, hope it didn't cause any confusion. Hopefully this one will work ok.**

**Disclaimer: Nope, not mine and I doubt they ever will be. **

**Chapter 9**

Elliot was sat at his desk with an ice pack resting on his head. It hurt like hell but he wasn't going to let anyone know. He needed to seem fine so that he could help look for Olivia.

In an attempt to keep his mind distracted from the pain he was feeling he had taken to telling the others everything about what had happened last night on the way home from their date and then the events that had taken place just hours ago.

"The next thing I know she's getting hauled into the back of a van and then it all went black." he said.

"Okay. Well look, we'll find her. We'll check out the names of the places she gave us that Leon owns or hangs out. If she's able to convince him she told us nothing then we might have a shot of finding her at one of them." Cragen said calmly. Hoping it would create an atmosphere that would stop his Detectives from worrying about one of their own who was missing, _again. _

"Where do we start?" Elliot asked.

~0~0~0~0~

Olivia had no idea where she was when the trunk was opened and two sets of hands reached in a pulled her out. Both men dragged her towards a house that she didn't recognize. At least she didn't think she did.

They had barley reached the front door when it opened up and she was pushed inside. There was a huge man stood on the other side of the door. He was built like a gorilla and looked just as nasty.

"Rachael! Long time no see." he said, his voice more like a roar than someone speaking.

See didn't answer him as she was dragged past and the front door was slammed shut. She pulled against the men's grip, trying to break free but they just tightened their grip. "Ouch, damn-it, get off me! You're hurting me!" she complained.

The men ignored her and continued dragging her along. Until they came to another room. Outside was another huge guard, bigger than the last. " Hey Rachael. Nice to see your sweet-ass back round here." he said to her.

She suddenly guessed that she'd clearly spent a lot of time here. Why?, she wasn't sure but she could only imagine. She was pushed through another door and came out into a room. It was perfectly decorated and furnished. Every little thing in it looked extremely expensive. She studied every little inch of it, looking round until she came upon a desk and a man stood behind it. By any standards he would be classed as handsome. He was clearly older with a slight George Clooney look about him.

"You two can leave now." The man said to the two men holding Olivia, "And thank you both for bringing her here."

"No problem Carlos." They both said.

"You can pick up your pay packets on the way out." Carlos told them as they walked out of the room, leaving Olivia alone with him.

After they left the guard shut the door and the room was suddenly filled with silence. Olivia remained where she was, struggling to loosen the cable ties around her wrist. She was so busy trying to will her hands free that she didn't see Carlos walk up to her, she jumped back when she saw a sharp, shiny pair of scissors in his hands.

"Relax Rachael." he said as he reached out and snipped the cable ties from around her wrists. "Is that better?" he asked before he walked over to his desk to return the scissors to the drawer he had got them out of.

"Look, thanks for that." Olivia began, "It's just… I'm not who you think I am. I'm not Rachael." she told him.

Carlos immediately looked confused. He watched with fascination as she walked closer to him, determined to explain whatever it was she was on about to him.

"My name is Olivia Benson. Detective Olivia Benson…" she told him, but didn't get to finish her sentence before Carlos wrapped just one hand around her neck and pushed her back against a huge bookshelf. She groaned in pain as her shoulder blades smacked against the hard wood.

"I don't know what the hell you've been taking but you need to shut up. You're not making any sense, and frankly you're boring me." he spat at her.

Olivia pulled at his arms. "I can't breathe…" she muttered, gasping for breath.

"I don't care. I haven't seen you in months and you know how I get when I don't see you!" he said, squeezing tighter on her throat before pulling his hand away, leaving her choking and holding her bruised throat.

Looking at Carlos now she suddenly remembered everything about him, his short temper, his heavy punches, his sharp slaps, and the way he would use her body to make himself happy. Most of all she remembered how much Rachael was scared of him and she also realised just how scared she should be of him too.

~0~0~0~0~

Elliot felt dizzy, and his head was pounding like there was a whole orchestra playing full blast in it. He swallowed down a couple more aspirin and then started paying attention to Munch again.

"So they found nothing at any of the locations Olivia gave us. He must be somewhere else." Munch said.

"Sure." Elliot said, he'd already guessed they wouldn't find her anywhere obvious. He knew Leon would be too smart to risk that. He thought he knew Leon pretty well, from just having heard Olivia talk about him.

"You know Stabler, I've know you long enough to know when you're not listening to me." Munch said, sounding a little short and not actually a little bit offended which he was. _He wanted Olivia back too._

Cragen walked out of his office, a look of confusion on his face, Something Elliot noticed.

"Capt, what is it?" Elliot asked.

"I was just informed that two officers found Leon and the van used to take Olivia."

"Is she ok?" Elliot presumed.

"Olivia wasn't with them."

"That's good. Maybe she got out."

"It could be good, because Leon and the other men in the van had all been shot dead. Hopefully there is a reason Olivia wasn't lying dead in the van too. Maybe someone helped her." Cragen said hopefully.

_Wrong…_

~0~0~0~0~

Olivia knocked everything off the desk as she fell across it before landing on the floor on the other side in a pile. She didn't give it a second thought before she pushed herself up. "Carlos, I'm not Rachael! I'm not going to do what your asking me to do!" Olivia yelled.

Again she had barely finished her sentence when Carlos slapped her, bruising her other cheek this time. It made 7 the number of times Carlos had hit her face. Her lip was now bust in two places, both of her cheeks were bruised, her eyebrow had a deep gash through it, her nose trickled with blood and her left eye was black and puffy. She wanted to tell him she wasn't Rachael again but it just seemed to make him more angry, but she really didn't want to do what it was he wanted her to do.

**TBC**

**Thanks for reading. Please Review.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Sorry it's taken so long to update, but thanks to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. This chapter is pretty short but the next is going to be pretty long and will not take too to update. **

**Disclaimer: Not mine, still not mine should I say. **

**Chapter 10**

As she hit the floor, she honestly gave it a second thought of just staying there. She was beaten and bloodied and wasn't sure she had the strength to keep getting up but Carlos seemed to be determined to beat her into next week, and even then she guessed he'd just catch up with her and keep on beating her.

"I'm not Rachael!" she suddenly screamed, startling even herself .

She looked up at Carlos who towered above her, looking down at her like dirt. It surprised her when he crouched down and grabbed hold of her bloodied face. "You look like Rachael," he said, "You smell as sweet as her," he said smelling her hair and her coconut shampoo, "Your body is as enticing as hers… therefore you'll do." he said.

She looked at him, the sonova bitch wasn't taking no for an answer. When he grabbed hold of her arms and stood up, pulling her up with him, she allowed him it but only until she was firmly on her feet and then she thrust her knee up, connecting it with his cock. He yelped in pain and fell sideways holding himself.

Olivia ran across the room and over to the door.

"Stop her!" Carlos shouted behind her.

Olivia ignored him and swung the door open but as she ran out an arm swung out in front of her. It connected hard with her face, knocking her onto her back flat on the floor. Her head cracked hard against the wooden floor and in seconds she was out cold.

~0~0~0~0~

Elliot was frantic. He had at least thought they stood a chance when Olivia had been snatched by Leon. He knew they had more of a chance of finding him and therefore finding her, but now, someone else had her and he and the rest of the team had no idea who and therefore no idea where.

The thought suddenly made him feel sick, it was only the distraction of Cragen practically running out of his office that stopped him. "Capt?" Elliot asked, seeing the hurry he was in.

"Anonymous tip off. Witness claims they saw the shooting. They said Olivia was thrown into the trunk of a car. We got a plate." he said excitedly, praying they would find her and find her in time.

~0~0~0~0~

Olivia rolled onto her side, wishing she hadn't moved her head an inch, it throbbed with pain, as did her whole body.

"You're finally awake." Carlos said. "I was tempted to fuck you whilst you slept, but you were always so fun and active when you were awake during sex, so I figured I'd wait until you woke." he continued.

Olivia looked up at him, he was behind his desk. "Do you have any idea how many years you can get for rape?" she said as she stood up.

Carlos got up from his desk and walked slowly over to her. "You're a whore. It's never rape when a whore says no."

"You're an even bigger prick than I thought." Olivia muttered.

"So you remember?" he asked as he unbuckled his belt, just a few steps away from her.

"That's not what I meant." she said, taking a step back. She stopped as she heard the door open behind her. She didn't have time to turn and look who had come in before her legs were kicked from beneath her.

She fell to the floor, landing on her knees. Her arms were suddenly pulled painfully tight behind her. She was locked in the position. It was the guard who had been stood outside. His body was too big and too strong for her to fight against.

She continued trying to struggle, even when Carlos stepped right in front of her. Her heart skipped a beat when she saw what he was doing. He had untied his belt and was unzipping his trousers, next he pulled them down, followed by his boxers. Olivia was then looking right at his hard cock.

She struggled harder as she realised what was about to happen to her. Carlos grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her face towards his crotch. She pursed her lips together and tried to look away but Carlos pulled her head back.

She began to remember Sealview, and what had almost happened to her then. It was what was about to happen to her now, the thought brought tears to her eyes. She wanted to beg him to stop but she wouldn't dare open her mouth.

However, when the guard roughly pulled her arms back, enough that she heard a pop she screamed in agony.

Carlos was about to thrust himself into her mouth when the door flew open. Four armed officers ran into the room, surrounding them. The guard let go of Olivia and she crashed to the floor, holding her arm. Carlos zipped his trousers up and stepped back with his hands in the air, clearly very pissed off.

Elliot and Fin both walked in along with more armed officers. Elliot ran up to Olivia and put his gun away so he could help her up. He got her to her feet and saw how beaten up she was. Seeing how much of a struggle it was for her, he scooped her up in his arms and turned around and walked out of the room.

All down the corridor and on the way out of his house, dozens of officers were arresting men and leading women out. The place was chaos, but all Elliot cared about was that he had gotten Olivia out of there.

He carried her outside where there was an ambulance waiting. He carried her straight over to it and climbed into the back of it where he carefully lowered her down on to a trolley. A paramedic immediately began checking her over. It was obvious her arm was dislocated. "Get a move on!" he shouted to the driving paramedics as he slammed the doors shut.

Elliot sat next to Olivia, he gently brushed her hair back off her face. He could see she was crying. He didn't know if they were tears of pain or fear, perhaps they were tears of both. "You're ok now, Olivia." he said, leaning forward so he could place a soft kiss on her head.

Using her other arm she reached up and grabbed his hand and placed it on her face. His soft touch was soothing and it made her feel safe again.

**TBC **

**Thanks for reading. Please review. **

**Just one chapter left to go. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed throughout this story. Sorry its taken so long for me to update between chapters. **

**Here's the final chapter. **

**Disclaimer: Nope, not mine.**

**Chapter 11**

Elliot was leaning against the observation window in interrogation room 2. He was glaring at Carlos who sat smug, seemingly clueless of the situation he was in. Or perhaps he wasn't clueless, just an arrogant prick.

"Aren't you supposed to interview me now and not just glare at me?" Carlos asked, breaking the silence that had gone on for a little over ten minutes, but Elliot just continued to glare at him.

"I've already told you twice that I don't want a lawyer, so what are we waiting for?" Carlos asked. Although the tone of his question had sounded it he was not even slightly annoyed. "If you don't wish to talk then I shall about Rachael, perhaps, or Olivia was it?" Carlos smirked as Elliot began to pace the room, walking closer and closer to him.

"Whichever name she chooses to go by she is still the same woman. She is still the woman who I most enjoy fuck…." Carlos didn't finish his words before Elliot ripped him up out of his seat and pinned him against the wall, cutting off his air supply.

"I don't want to hear about the things you did to her." Elliot spat at him.

"You need too. You need to know how good she was at her job, how much money she made her pimp, the low lives she's been with. Cops, judges, you think they didn't know who she was all along!"

Elliot thought about his words, they made him wonder whether they would have found her sooner if these men, these supposed cops and judges, would have just come forward. But why would they, they had paid for a prostitute and got one and even though they had known who she was and what she really was, they had abused her. Elliot had seen the way other cops had looked at her in the past, but he had never dreamt any of them would violate her so.

"I want their names?"

"I want a deal."

"No chance." Elliot snapped.

"Then you'll never know their names."

Elliot was about to lose it, he was about to knock Carlos's light out when there was a knock on the door and Munch casually stepped inside.

"El, we don't need a thing from this douche bag. His personal guard just spilled all, the idiot didn't even ask for a deal."

"Tell him to give us the names of the people…" Elliot couldn't bring himself to say the words 'Olivia slept with' "The people on Rachael's client list." those words weren't quite as sour in his mouth.

Carlos suddenly lost the smug look from his face. He'd been counting on a deal and it had just gone out of the window.

"Too bad." Elliot said, the smug look now on his face. "Maybe you can make a deal with your fellow inmates when they start using your sorry ass as a play thing." He let go of him and forced himself to walk out of the room before he put Carlos's head through the wall.

~0~0~0~0~

Olivia was sat up in her hospital bed. She had her eyes closed but was in no way sleeping. She had too much racing through her mind. She was suddenly remembering everything. Every little thing that had happened in her life as Olivia Benson, up until she had become Rachael. She was then remembering everything about her time being Rachael; being a prostitute, the clients, both good and bad, the sleazy motels and the posh hotels.

The thoughts stopped racing in her head when she heard footsteps approaching. She opened her eyes and saw Elliot now standing at the foot of her bed.

"Hey." she said to him.

"How you feeling?" he asked as he sat on the bed next to her, facing her.

"Sore, all over, but I've had worse." she said with a confident smile.

"Carlos's bodyguard spilled everything. They're both going away for a very, very long time."

Olivia nodded her head, allowing the words to register, before she smiled. "Good. He can't hurt anyone else now."

"Well I'm just sorry we didn't get to him before he hurt you." Elliot said, feeling a little guilty.

"Believe me, I'm just happy you got there when you did. It sickens me to think that once I willingly did _'things' _with that man; knowing what he was, what he did to women, young girls."

"You had no choice Liv, that's who you had to be. Who you thought you was. You never have to go back to that."

"But I also can't go back to being Detective Olivia Benson. I can't be a cop anymore Elliot." Olivia said knowingly. Part of her would have liked to continue with the job she was once so passionate about but part of her didn't and she doubted whether IAB would even consider it.

"Your job was your life." Elliot said.

"And because of it, I've missed out on things."

"Like what?" Elliot asked, although he had a feeling he already knew.

"Like relationships, one's that work. Being a mother. If I had never gone working undercover then none of this would have happened and you and I could have been together all this time. God knows where we could have been by now, or what we could have had, a family perhaps."

"Well I don't intend on letting you off the hook now." Elliot said with a smile. "Liv, I wanna be with you still. I wanna be your life now." he told her.

Olivia sat forward, wincing at the pain it caused her. She placed a soft but loving kiss on Elliot's lips. She then sat back so he could see her face, and the smile that was on it. "You've always been my life." she told him.

"If you want to have kids then we can start working on making a whole bunch of them as soon as you're feeling up to it."

"El, I'm no spring chicken."

"Me either, but sometimes, when you want something badly enough, you get it. I wanted you back, every single day that you were missing and I got you back." Elliot said, this time he moved forward so he could kiss her.

He sat back and they both smiled lovingly at each other. Finally Olivia spoke. "Dr's say I can go home later today if there's someone there to take care of me. Guess they think I'm feeling better." Olivia said, flashing a smile that made Elliot's heart skip a beat.

"I would have to agree." he said before he placed his hand, softly, on her face and then kissed her again. This time the kiss lingered, becoming deeper and more passionate until Elliot pulled away.

"Take me home." Olivia said to him.

Elliot leant forward and kissed her again. He _was_ going to take her home and he was going to take care of her forever. She was back in his life and he didn't want to lose her ever again.

**The End**

**Thanks again to everyone who read, reviewed or added alerts throughout this story. **

**Best Wishes to you all. :D**


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